Soul Words
Grieving a dead person
Trauer um eine verstorbene Person
Question
I have not fully grieved the death of my sister and lately I have been very angry with her.
What do I need to do to in order to find closure?
The text I returned to her, is a letter from A.M.s heart to her sister. it expresses her feelings and allows her to find the closure she needs.
Frage
Ich trauere noch immer um meine verstorbene Schwester und habe in letzter Zeit viel Wut auf sie.
Was muss ich tun um mit ihr Frieden zu schließen.
Der Text mit dem ich ihr geantwortet habe, ist ein Brief den A.M. aus ihrem Herzen ihrer Schwester schreibt. Er drückt ihre Gefühle aus und gibt ihr den Raum sich und ihrer Schwester zu vergeben.
Feedback
Rückmeldung
Bernd I can not tell you what this means to me. After reading this I have had to take some time out. It is extremely emotional for me and I need time to take it in and feel it.
It is really hard to read and take everything it in because I recognize it as holding such truth.
Part of me wants to distract and deny and cut my emotions off because it feels so hectic to process.
They are words I have so needed to hear.
I need some time to sit with it.
Grieving my sister
I love you, my baby sister. I loved the time we spent together. I loved how you purported yourself. How you respected yourself. How you reached out and made the best of your life. How you were never lost for words. How you respected the people in your vicinity. Most of all I always envied you your strength. Your immense power. I often dreamed of being as strong and powerful as you were. To not be blown away, by the opinions of other people. Your ability to sit down and plan. And then to put these plans into actions, one issue at a time. I never dared to express my envy to you, because I was afraid, you’d take advantage of it. I felt it was easier for me, to keep you at a distance. I tried to control our relationship. I always had to look for snags. I needed to feel being in control. The easiest way to achieve this, was to be critical of you. To keep you on the defensive. You never dared to attack me back. Or make fun of me. Even when we were the most distant, you always somehow managed to take care of me. You showed me in little ways, that you always thought of me. And I was always afraid it could be a ruse, to take advantage of me.
To look at you now, is to look at my fear. To understand my fear of coping with life. My fear of standing up to myself and my inability to look people like you in the eye. To treat them as equals. To treat you as my equal, even now. Even now I care more for your slights then the greatness of your heart. Your power. Your ability to treat me as your equal, when I did my best to undermine you as my superior.
To look at you now, is to open my heart. To understand, that there is nothing to be afraid of. That you will not hurt me, despite all my projections on you. That time is not of the essence. That I do not need time to grow. That I simply have to see my fear and understand, that it is completely ungrounded.
To look at you now, is to understand how I hurt you and you never hurt me back. That’s what hurts me most.