Feedback

Rückmeldung

I am judgemental and wish to open my heart to other people

You are in love with who you are. You are in love with the way you are committed to your goals and the way you wish to achieve them. It is always very important to you to never hurt a soul, including the people, that you do not like. You wish to give everyone equal opportunities to enjoy themselves and always go out of your way for them to do so, even if it will incommode you. You will make sure that everyone gets the utmost enjoyment in whatever you impart to him. You believe that that person should receive equal opportunity as everybody else.

You believe in equal opportunity. You see your own qualities and abilities to be so natural, you cannot understand a person who does not seem to have them or does not seem to apply themselves to a challenge quite so vigorously as you do. It is not that you are judging him, you are just unable to understand his actions, why he would be so "stupid". And this kind of "stupidity" is something you find hard to accept in another person.

So the question arises: What are your special qualities and why is it you will not allow other people the freedom to think and act in ways you simply perceive as being "stupid": not following the obvious course of action.

You are not somebody who gives herself a lot of leeway. You are very harsh with yourself, if you feel you are not working on achieving the goals, that are important to you:

1. Be a considerate person. Grant everyone equal opportunity.
2. Think like and act as a professional businesswoman.
3. Expect yourself to act in order to receive the utmost respect from others.
4. Never be afraid in the face of a challenge. Never back away from a position you feel is your right to have. Accept no alternatives if you feel you are entitled. Your perception of entitlement arises from a very exact situational awareness, your ability to intuitively fathom the most probable outcome of a conflict and your decision to stick to that estimate.
5. Spend a lot of time and effort on self care. Do not neglect yourself in ways that will make you suffer long term. Being very careful of abuse you are willing to take from others and are very aware of your own boundaries and when they are being violated.
6. You believe that every person is an island unto himself and has full responsibility for himself. Nobody (including yourself) has the right to shirk on this duty.
7. To not ever let anyone make fun of you. You perceive self respect as a natural state of being. You expect others to apply the same vigorous respect to you as you do respect yourself.
8. To not allow anyone to limit your sexual freedom.
9. Most of all: Being in the moment. Being in the moment is your constant goal, your dream achievement. Eating, dancing, travelling. Even when worrying or working you are very aware of your enjoyment of your current experience. If you feel you are not achieving joy in the very moment you will change your routine again and again until you feel you do.

These are your life goals. These are qualities you constantly thrive to achieve in your life. You are not willing to question any of them at any time. If you see any of them in jeopardy you will go out of your way to reinstate equilibrium: Equilibrium, inner peace to you is meeting these goals. Not trying to meet them feels just plain stupid to you. Why anyone would be so stupid as to not achieve them all the time is beyond your understanding. What is natural to you must be natural to anyone else.

Having an open heart to you is having an open mind to people who are not willing to meet any of these goals in themselves. Having an open heart is about questioning these goals. Neither happiness, nor love, nor inner peace are dependant on achieving these. To love means to accept that what is (in the world as well as in yourself) without question. To love and feel complete is not about working hard day and night until you feel you have found inner equilibrium but is about being able to accept and endure the joy of the present moment regardless of how it presents itself. If you are able to allow yourself to be incomplete, when you perceive incompleteness, you are opening your heart. When you are able to let go of working towards any of these goals at any given moment, you are opening your heart. This is not about asking you to give up qualities in yourself that are an expression of your inner strength but to be able to see the special quality of experience that happens all the time, regardless of the mind state you feel you are achieving. It is about letting go and allowing to be what is. For you cannot work towards the current moment, it is already here.